And... I'm sorry, what?

Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.
Proverbs 20:15

From time to time, when metaphorical stuff hits a metaphorical fan, you need to ask the question "where did this come from?"... Sometimes the answer is obvious; of course I was going to walk into that chair when I left it in the middle of the room, of course we were going to break the bed with THREE of us jumping just to see what happened... But more often than not in my experience, things happen, and it is hard to find the cause, hard to find the appropriate animal, vegetable or mineral to absorb the hurt, anger or annoyance that we feel.

Things that have happened in the last week have reminded me that we live in a fallen world, that the pain that we experience was NEVER meant to be like this. The world was perfect "And God saw that it was good" (Genesis 1:25). And then what? As my Year Three's would say: "people stuffed it up". Now, an eight year olds view of 'stuffing up' goes something like this: '3X3=6, no it doesn't, it =9'!!!!! And yet, they understand that Adam and Eve's actions had the ability to eternally set us apart from God... The moment the deed took place, the 'place that was good' was tainted.

Luckily, when the stuff hits the fan, I'm surrounded by people with the wisdom to know when to speak, when to hug, when to rebuke, when to let me cry. For THAT, I am eternally thankful.

Stephanie J Block + Dolly Parton = love...

You know you've stumbled across a new favourite Musical Theatre song when you start applying it to your own life and screaming out the lyrics at any given moment (much to the annoyance of your room-mates or friends who happen to be around at the time). Often, the songs that seem to grab my attention are ones that are strong, punchy and involve yelling at someone (usually a man, if I'm being perfectly honest). Well, this latest installment sticks to the regular checklist. Written by Dolly Parton and belted out by Stephanie J Block: 'Get out and stay out'
Get out and stay out, I've finally had enough
Don't kiss me on your way out, it wouldn't move me much
You used me, abused me, you cheated and you lied
So get out and stay out, I'm taking back my life
Well, It's funny how you waltzed in here, assuming I'd come back
Well let me tell you something, you are way off track
Can't you see I'm different, or are you still that blind
No - you stand right there and take it, there's no love to hide behind
Well, I am proud to tell you I'm really feeling good.
I'm doing so much better than you ever thought I would.
Got my own place, my own space, where I can dream and plan
It took me this long to realize I do not need a man

I used to need you, then I finally learned
I used to want you, not the tables turned
I used to love you, now it's your time to squirm
Cause I'm saying goodbye and I won't wait for your return.
So get out and stay out, I've finally had enough
Don't kiss me on your way out, it wouldn't move me much
You used me, abused me, you cheated and you lied
So get out and stay out, I'm taking back my life
I wonder what you'll do when I am not around
Now that your new love has up and let you down
You've always come crying to me throughout the years
To mend another broken heart, to dry your selfish tears.
So get out and stay out, I'm moving on at last
Oh, I've been so foolish, but that was in the past.
I never thought I'd be the one to say goodbye
You get out and stay out, I'm taking back my life.

Dreams and plans are in the making
Success is out there for the taking
Wish it was as simple as it sounds
I have no choice I have to do it
Face the future, walk into it
Now that I'm unfettered and unbound

Get out and stay out, I've finally had enough
Don't kiss me on your way out, it wouldn't move me much
You used me, abused me, you cheated and you lied
So get out and stay out, I'm taking back my life

Haha, take THAT!!

Plagerism... Perhaps, but they stole the words from my brain, I swear!

It's all very well to say you fool it's now or never
I could be choosing
No choices whatsoever.

I could be
In someone else's story
In someone else's life
And he could be in mine
I don't see
A reason to be lonely
I could take my chances
Further down the line
And if
That girl I knew should ask my advice
Oh I wouldn't hesitate she needn't ask me twice
Go now!
I'd tell her that for free
Trouble is, the girl is me
The story is, the girl is me.


They, my friends, are my current thoughts, brought to you lyrically by the creators of the musical 'Chess'... I have nothing further to add, except to say that i am thankful for what I've got, and I'm not meaning to sound like there's something tragically wrong, I promise you that is not the case!
Peace, homies!

Kim xox

"I get a kick out of you..."

Each day at our school, we have an assembly, which the teachers take turns running. These half-hour or so meetings involve a kids talk, worship songs, prayer and some announcements from time to time. At the moment, the theme of our talks is "Favourite Bible Characters". Let it be said, I loathe having to run an assembly... Put me in front of up to 30 children and I'm fine... 100? Not so much. I never have the right words to say, especially when there are so many adults, fellow teachers who I admire and respect and I always end up looking retarded in front of them...
Anyway, yesterday I was the teacher running the assembly and I chose to speak about Abigail (1 Samuel 25). Now, to make a long story short, Abigail was a woman of integrity, who did what ws asked of her because she knew it was right. She ticked off her husband by providing aid to some of King David's soldiers, knowing that that was what god was asking of her. She was under no obligations to provide, but she chose the righteous path...

Today, the lovely Esther was in charge of assembly (by the way, that woman was born for kid's ministry!!). She told us all about the life of Peter and the ways in which she has learned from him. You know what?! Peter was a real douche sometimes. He stuffed up over and over again, yet he had enough faith to initially step of a boat ONTO water and walk towards Jesus. True, he didn't make it very far, but he 'stepped out in faith' so to speak. I wish I could have faith like that.

We are told that our faith can move mountains. And yet, we are so unbelievably scared of what we could accomplish with god's help, so we rely on ourselves.

There have been many things happening in the past few weeks, and at times I've felt like I've been left as a shattered, broken and useless shell. Why in the world am I trying to do this on my own?! In Bangladesh of all places?! I think we get ourselves into a comfortable little nook and we forget what God can do if we only say 'YES!'.

The last time I said yes, I ended up on a plane, zooming away from everything I'd ever known. But you know what? I haven't said 'yes' to anything since then and I've been beating myself up over the fact that I can't do this on my own. What a retard! We were not designed to do this on our own. Even in God's perfect world, the Garden of Eden, God was still there and he desired a real relationship. How could I ever think that he would want anything less now?!

Where are you at? Are you trying to make it on your own?

"We were meant to live for so much more..."

There comes a point in the life of every superhero, when they realise that they can't solve everyone's problems. I will never ever claim to be anyone's superhero, yet I have reached that point of shocking revelation. I've got to be honest, it sucks.

A people-pleaser from the moment I undoubtably understood friendship, I'm really struggling at the moment. Details, in this instance, do not matter. All that needs to be said is that people all over the world who are dear to me are hurting, and there is very little that i can really do to be of any help whatsoever. I could very easily turn this into a 'poor me' type moment, but it really isn't. This isn't about me at all. This is simply the despair of seeing pain and being unable to stop it.

As I walk down the main street of Dhaka, I realise that this sort of despair isn't limited to those who are well known to us. A middle-aged woman in a make-shift wheelchair, with withered legs approached Esther and I on a rickshaw the other day. A smile on her face, the pain in her eyes, the despair, yet joy, in her heart... What can I do? Sure, I can give all my Taka away, but that doesn't solve a thing...

Bangladesh, like everywhere else in the world, shows contrast between the worldly views of good and evil. Superman, I'm sure, couldn't solve everything here, just like I can't solve the hurt in my friend's lives... I will, however, do what I can and hope for the best, trusting that God is faithful and just and that "This too, shall pass".

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:10

Absolute peace

“There's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again.”
-Margaret Elizabeth Sangster


Amen!!! Speak to you soon... From Bangladesh :)
Kim xox

"In each piece of my life there’s been proof of regret and the things I can’t change I don’t want to forget"

It is not very often that I become attatched to a COMPOSERS work. Usually, I fall musically in love with the performer and don't think to look beyond the 'star' to see who's work is really on display, which is strange, because when it comes down to it, I see myself as much more of a composer than a performer. Put me on a stage and I'm mesmerised, I turn into someone else, but take away the anonymity, try and get me raw on the stage, there's nothing I could hate more... Though, that being said, I make NO great claims to the title of 'composer', just FYI.

I have fallen in love with Scott Alan's music of late. I first started this love affair when I was in 'Midlight', where the three lead girls battled it out in "I'm a star", Jess convinced me that "Never Neverland" was written for me and Rachael made me teary with "Home". Upon moving to Bangladesh, I decided that life would be far more enjoyable if I stepped up and finally joined the masses, downloading I-Tunes... Well, this has turned out to be an expensive venture, even if you only think about the costly additions to my theatre-related collections (Now REALLY, how could Scott Alan use artists like Tracie Thoms, Stephanie J. Block and Eden Espinosa and NOT get me hooked?)...

I urge you, check out some of Scott's stuff if you ever get the chance. If worst comes to worst, commandeer my laptop and listen to my collection of his stuff... Utter brilliance, honest! In particular, look up "I'm a Star" (Eden Espinosa), "Say Goodbye"(Katie Thompson), "Behind these walls" (Kerry Ellis) and "Never Neverland (Fly Away)" (Stephanie J. Block)... Do yourself a favor, fall in love with the composer who's stolen my heart!

All my love,
Kim xo